by Uncle Wes, November 09, 2005

This isn’t my usual fishing column, but I do think about some of these things when I’m on the water. (I guess that’s what you get when you have too much time on your hands.)

The one that really comes to mind is karma. I hate it when I go fishing and do well and folks tell me “it must be karma”-not that skill or knowledge had any factor in this, it was just meant to be. What did I do in a past life to deserve this so-called karma? I must have been an advocate for the homeless fish, or I started a meals-on-boats program, so now I’m being rewarded for all of my good deeds. I mean I must have so much karma that the fish just line up waiting to jump into my frying pan. Yep, it must be karma.

Then there is the “other” karma. I’ve had two cars go belly up on me in six months. Was I also a horse thief in a past life and now this is my so-called karma? I had more money when I was a junior in high school. Does that mean I was a millionaire in a past life and now I’m paying for all of my evil doings? Then there is “instant karma.” Of course I never hear of anything good, just bad things. They say by doing good deeds your karma will improve-I’m still waiting. I could be the only man in the world that stepped out on his front porch and got hit by a meteor and somewhere someone would say it was karma.

There are a few other things that bother me little; sayings like “luck of the draw.” Well, who got to pick the deck of cards? How does a guy go about getting a new deck? Then the saying “if he didn’t have bad luck he wouldn’t have any luck at all.” Now this one I can get my teeth into. What about “lucky in love, lucky in life?” What is that all about? Maybe they’re referring to “lady luck”. Who got to pick the lady? I want to request a new one. I wonder if lady luck is married to karma-that might explain a few things. Or how about “all good things come to those who wait?” How long are you supposed to wait? If I’m still waiting does that mean patience is a virtue? If that’s the case, I have got to be the most virtuous man in the world.

They say for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. Does that mean if I turn into a horse’s behind good things will happen? Here’s another one for you: “I’ll take it one day at a time.” You mean we have options? Does that mean that I can jump into next week and if I don’t like it I can go back? Something else that’s getting on my nerves: I’ve been bombarded with Internet dating e-mails. Now I’m old-school and this just doesn’t seem too practical, but checked it out anyways. I guess the first thing to do is to see exactly what women want in a man. After looking through several profiles, here is my conclusion: women want a wealthy, blonde Adonis type who likes to travel. Let me clue you in: he’s not on the Internet.

These sites are always prodding you to post your profile. I gave this some serious thought and came up with: “Poor, old, fat fisherman, seeking young, attractive, brunette fisherwoman. Must like to travel (from the front porch to the boat ramp).” I’ve always said there are three things in life that I love: women, fishing and writing. Two out of three ain’t bad.

So until next time, may the fish at the end of your line be the one of your dreams.

I don't go fishing for the scenery, its just a side benefit.